Still Here
by Khionne
Summary: Just one mistake and she was gone. Or so he thought. *ON HOLD*
1. I dream you're still here

**Hey, I'm new. Well, not exactly, but I won't be explaining that right now.**

 **This is kind of an experiment to me, a project. This is my first story written in English and I would like continuing to do it. It's an amazing way to learn and polish my English, and I enjoyed it a lot.**

 **I've always wanted to write a story like this, so here it is. I hope you'll like it!**

 **Oh, and it won't be too long. Four or five chapters, I think.**

* * *

 **Title:** Still Here

 **Summary:** Just one mistake and she was gone. But every night, she's still here.

 **Warning:** I do not speak nor write English as fluently as I would like since it isn't my first language. So I'm really sorry if there are a lot of incoherences or words poorly used. If someone wants to beta reader my writings I would be grateful.

 **PD:** I started to write this story inspired on a song: Still Here of Digital Daggers. If you want to, you can go hear the song. At least I thing it does goes with the mood. Every chapter tittle is inspired on the song verses.

* * *

 **Chapter one**

 **I dream you're still here**

Just one mistake.

Her hand slipped from his grip and her soul vibrated one last time.

 _Goodbye, Soul._

He cried.

.

Black Star was shouting like always.

"Won't he ever shut up?" asked an annoyed Kid.

"I'm sorry," mumbled Tsubaki.

"I don't know how can you stand him being so loud all the time," stated Liz. "I would've gone crazy after just one day."

Patty laughed hysterically. "I can take care of him!"

The long silent agreement was the answer Patty needed to suddenly kick Black Star and beat him while he still wouldn't shut up. It was still better his agonising shout rather than proclaiming himself as everyone's mighty god.

No one laughed.

Soul leaned his head against the table.

He didn't feel like he belonged there. He was never able to talk with them nor to engage on their conversations. It wasn't him. Soul had no interest in them. And still, he hanged out with them once in a while—a very long while. It was more than necessary.

They weren't his friends anymore.

"Soul," called Liz. He lazily glared at her without moving his head. "Are you O.K.? You look like you're about to fall asleep."

Their glares pissed him off.

"I'm fine. No need to fuss over me."

Liz smiled sadly.

"It's obvious you haven't been fine, I can tell," she said. Her tone was careful and soft, as if she was trying not to break him. Soul buffed. He hated that—and he also hated that they were all trying to be overly protective. "You can talk to me if you want. I know you don't have anyone else since she's…"

She trailed off her words. Now even Patty and Black Star were looking at them without doing any sound.

 _She_. It meant Maka.

Since a year ago, no one dared to say her name out loud.

Soul stood up from his chair.

"I'm leaving."

He didn't even had the chance to eat his pizza.

.

Soul usually wandered through the city the whole day. He'd woke up at six in the morning to grab a coffee in front of his building before anyone else arrived. The sour taste of coffee almost makes him want to throw up every morning, but it keeps him awake and returns the senses to his body. Then, he goes to Shibusen to grab another solo mission and if there's nothing, he just goes back to his motorcycle.

After a whole year of walking the city, Soul knows every corner of Death City.

He had gotten used to solitude.

"Soul!" someone shouts behind him when he was parking the motorcycle.

"Marie?" he said. The last person he thought he'd see was his old teacher.

Marie smiled at him looking more radiant than ever. Clutching to her hand was a little girl, resembling both Marie and Stein. Their daughter, Soul assumed. Marie's hair and Stein's green eyes. For some reasons, it perturbed him to know both their teachers had a child together. He wouldn't had believed it if it weren't because Maka had told him that she felt Stein's soul connected to the one on Marie's belly.

"I haven't seen you since years ago!" she exclaimed, laughing. Marie embraced him as if he was a long lost son.

Soul almost died on her arms.

"Ugh, Marie, I can't breath."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

He tried to smirk. "No worries."

"Mama," the little girl whined while hiding behind Marie's long skirt. "I don't like his soul."

Silence.

She could see souls, just like Stein did. And at such young age—Soul could tell she was around three years old—, she was able to distinguish a horrible soul like his.

His soul was dark and gloomy.

And full of black blood.

Marie reacted after a few long seconds. "Don't say that, honey! He's a amazing person, he's just… sad."

 _Sad._ Everyone thought he was sad. But he wasn't.

Soul was miserable.

"Why did you came back to America?" asked Soul. He knew that if he deviate the conversation, it would lead to another person giving him unwanted attention. "I thought you would stay in Oceania's base for a long time."

"I thought so too," she said, finally speaking with a serious voice. "But Shinigami-sama called me. He's worried."

"Worried?"

Marie nodded. "About you, Soul."

Soul laughed, but no happiness could be heard.

"Everyone's worrying about nothing," he said tiredly. "Just leave me alone."

"But your black blood is getting out of control and you could-"

"Just leave me alone," he repeated himself.

Like a mantra.

"You need an anti-magic wavelength, Soul. That's why I'm here."

"I don't want to see any of you," he snapped.

And he disappeared into the building, leaving Marie without any other word.

.

" _We're getting late, Soul! Get up!"_

 _He twisted himself in the blankets and groaned when he felt the sunlight over his eyes._

" _Five more minutes."_

 _Maka laughed almost madly. "Don't be such a lazy ass. You're getting up now or I'll break your skull in two."_

" _Such violence."_

" _You'll survive, I don't care."_

" _I hate you so much," groaned Soul once again._

 _He hide behind the blanket, pissed at the sunlight._

 _The weight of Maka sitting by his side in the bed woke him up a little bit more. What was she planning? By that time, she would have already kill him with one of her incredibly big books._

" _I won't be late again because of you," she whispered over him. She had leaned over Souls covered body and didn't let him move._

 _Soul was almost having a heart attack._

" _It's kind of contradicting that you're not letting me get up when you want me to stand up," he said sarcastically. He needed a distraction of her body over his if he still wanted to live a bit more._

" _It's strategy."_

" _Your usual strategy doesn't require much thinking," he mocked. "You don't think twice before planting your book in my head."_

 _Maka laughed and Souls heart flustered._

 _He felt so_ gay _._

" _Today, I want your memories to be intact," she said._

" _Oh?" he exclaimed."Your book usually doesn't mind killing half my childhood memories."_

 _Silence welcomed him during a few seconds. Through their latent resonant, Soul felt how sorrowful she was feeling. It startled him. Maka wasn't the kind of person who regrets her actions—and yet, so out of the blue, Maka was being like that._

" _I'm sorry," she mumbled so lowly that even with their closeness he had trouble hearing her._

" _What for?"_

" _For being so violent with you. I don't know how have you stayed with me for so long even after everyday violence. It may actually be true I've killed some of your childhood memories."_

 _Soul smiled, touched by her unusual sentimentalism._

" _I don't need them."_

" _What?"_

 _Maka's wavelength jumped and Soul felt it._

" _I don't need my childhood memories," he explained. "They aren't good, anyways. Besides, I can still create a whole lot more memories I'll treasure in the future."_

 _Maka giggled like a little girl._

" _How so? You sound like there's something really good coming up."_

 _Even before she could react, Soul untangled his arms from the sheets and embraced her. He could felt how Maka almost jumped but she didn't resist him._

 _She was probably freaking out._

" _It's not coming up. It started when I meat you."_

 _Maka buried her head in Souls covered neck. Even he could felt her rapid heartbeats that matched his._

 _He really loved that sensation._

 _But not as much as he loved her._

" _Maka?" Soul called her after her completely silenced being._

" _Hmm?"_

" _Are you falling asleep?"_

 _She nodded against him. "I'm tired. I studied almost the whole night."_

" _And you were the one hurrying me up," he laughed._

 _Maka got scared instantly and jerked up, but Souls arms were still caging her. And she was still tired._

" _Let me go! Now we're definitely late!"_

" _Correction," Soul grinned, "we're late already."_

" _Shit," Maka groaned._

" _Lets stay here. We had a long battle yesterday. They won't miss us a day."_

 _For the first time in his life, Maka accepted his petition to miss class. And before he could proclaim his victory, Maka was already curling up to him._

 _He laughed. "Hey, at least let me uncover myself. It's too hot behind the blanket."_

 _It wasn't a lie. After the heat of the sentimental moment was over, Soul started to feel how horribly hot he was because of the sunlight burning through the blankets. The air was thick in there he could hardly breath. And Maka being in top of him, Soul was asphyxiating himself._

 _Maka giggled softly while letting him out of the sheet. "That was the strategy."_

" _What?"_

" _The strategy was to get you desperate in there with the warmth."_

" _You're such a demon," whined Soul._

" _And you love me like that," said Maka before finally falling asleep._

 _Souls heart skipped a beat._

 _She had probably said it without any meaning, but hell, Maka didn't know how right she was._

 _Because Soul Eater Evans loved his partner, best friend and meister._

 _He smiled and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "One day you'll know."_

 _._

Soul growled.

He had a horrible backache that really ached him when he got up to the bathroom.

And he hated so much to be in that apartment he once shared with Maka. But at the same time, he refused to let go of that place. It just seemed wrong. Maka's belongings—her books, her clothes, her bed, they were all still there. Untouched.

Soul looked over at Maka's closed door.

He hadn't entered there since a year ago.

Sometimes, he liked to imagine that she was still there. Reading. And he wouldn't dare to interrupt her, so he didn't enter her room.

How silly of him.

She was long gone and nothing could change that fact.

It was all shit that saying about dead people still there within their hearts. He remembered her every single time but it didn't change the fact that she had died. Anything mattered if she wasn't by his side.

He didn't wanted to live with those happy memories without her.

There was no meaning.

The reflection he was seeing in the bathrooms mirror didn't look like himself. Or maybe it did. He had always had those gloomy red eyes, sharp shark teeth and disordered hair. But those features were even more scarier with his lifeless expression.

Soul leaned over to wash his face. Cold water was needed to woke him at least a bit.

"Why did anyone helped me?"

Her voice. Cracked and cold.

Soul looked at the mirror, water drops slicing through his face.

It didn't startled him. Not anymore.

Maka was standing behind him. She didn't had her pigtails done and her skin was a thousand times more pale, almost a little bit greenish. Her eyes shut, not wanting to see him. Soul had never seen her eyes again—those he loved so much. That creature refused to see him and he didn't complained. Because _it_ wasn't Maka.

She was dead.

It was the portrayal of a dead Maka. Or how he thought she would look like dead.

"WHY?" it shouted.

Soul shook his head.

"I'm sorry."

"No one helped me."

"I know."

"You didn't, either."

"I tried," sobbed Soul.

"No, you didn't."

He let himself fall into the floor, vanishing the image of Maka on the mirror.

Tears ran through his face, melting with the water drops.

No one knew.

Maka was gone and everyone tried to make him move one. But he couldn't. She was still there, in his memories, his dreams, and even his daily life. He saw her everywhere he went. And _it_ followed him.

 _It_ made his life miserable.

More than it was already.

Though he knew _it_ wasn't real, it still stroke him.

He had tried to get ride of _it._ But he couldn't. He had broken mirrors and everything _it_ appeared on, but _it_ kept showing up every day. And on top of that, deep in his heart, he still didn't wanted _it_ to actually go away.

Seeing Maka, even if it was a horrible hallucination, brought a tiny sensation that she was still alive somewhere.

He was really going insane.

Soul stood up lazily. He had no energy even though he had just slept for hours. Five hours, exactly. Much more than he was usually able to.

The clock on the wall stated that it was three in the morning.

No coffee shop opened yet.

But he still needed that coffee, so he went to the kitchen to prepare it. Ten minutes until the coffee machine could finish.

He felt in the couch.

His hand unconsciously reached to the red bottom that tilted by his side and the mechanic female voice of the voicemail announced two unheard messages. He didn't actually wanted to hear them, but after a minute of complete silence in his empty apartment, he pressed the button again.

" _Hey, Soul. It's Liz. You never pick up the phone calls but I hope you at least hear your voicemail. So… I'm sorry if I was too pushing earlier. I didn't meant to make you uncomfortable, but you need to know that we are all worried about you. I_ am _worried about you, don't try to negate it. It's been a rough year, I know. We have all been sad because of Maka's… Maka's death. You of all have been the worst, and I get it since she was your partner. But you shouldn't lock yourself up. It's probably the hundredth time I've told you that. And… we were going to tell you today that we're going to visit her tomb at Wednesday. I hope you'll come. Take care, Soul."_

Wednesday. Soul furrowed his eyebrows, trying to locate himself in time. It was Monday, so it was in two days.

Two days until Maka's death anniversary.

How have he survived that long?

The coffee machine whistled and he got up.

"You even forgot me," _it_ said swiftly, almost making him spill his coffee.

"I didn't."

"The why won't you go?"

"I'm scared," he admitted.

Soul had gotten so used to that appearance that he no longer freaked out at their conversations. It did made him want to cry every time, but he controlled himself when he could. When _it_ wasn't screaming, he actually thought he was talking to a zombie Maka.

He had finally accepted he was crazy.

Talking to his hallucination wasn't as rare as it seemed if he admitted to be crazy.

"Why scared?" _It_ continued to push his limits. "I'm already dead. You can't do anything about that."

"… I know."

 _It_ appeared leaned over Maka's closed door.

Soul glared hatefully at the appearance. He hated everything that threatened to disturb Maka's belongings.

"They are so hypocritical to be concerned about me now when I'm already dead," _it_ hissed.

For once, he wasn't guilty to agree with _it._

He was tired.

 _It_ didn't followed him into the room nor his bed.

He just wanted to keep dreaming about Maka.

.

"Welcome back, Soul," grinned the little devil.

Soul growled.

This wasn't what he wanted. He was into that tiny black room again, and hated it. Why couldn't he keep dreaming about Maka?

"You hate the power black blood is giving you."

"I do, aren't I clear about that?"

"You're limiting yourself," said the little devil.

"I don't care."

"Lets go play, Soul Evans."

It was always like that. And he was tired of it.

He didn't wanted to pour his soul into true piano. It would break him more than he already was.

Gloomy and dark.

His existence had enough of that to keep pouring in more.

"Maybe you'll be able to find her in there," kept saying the little devil. Soul looked up at him—he was pointing at the black void.

His memories. The black void.

It represented him well.

"That's why I'll go," Soul said before falling into the void.

.

 _She was crying._

 _Soul sat by his side without talking. He knew that the last thing Maka would want was him acknowledging she was crying. Maka hated to cry, and even more, she hated that someone watched her cry._

" _Your dad's an asshole," Soul said after a long silence._

 _Maka nodded slowly._

" _He is," she said with wrecked voice."I hate him. I really do."_

" _No, you don't."_

 _She didn't replied until another sob escaped her mouth. "You're right, I don't. And I hate that. I want to hate him but I can't."_

" _He's your dad, Maka. And he loves you. He does_ actually _loves you, and he will even after you die."_

 _Silence._

 _They didn't need words. He could feel themselves resonate even against their will. That was the kind of connection they had—their bond was unbreakable and incredibly strong. Soul was proud to know it. Because Maka was her partner, the only one he was able to resonate with. Shinigami-sama had even told them once that their bond was beyond rare._

 _They were soulmates._

 _As cheesy as it sounded._

" _You said that... but you haven't talk to your family in years."_

 _Soul froze in his spot._

 _His family._

 _He hated to talk about them._

" _There's nothing to say about them," he snapped._

" _You should give them a chance," Maka insisted._

 _She was no longer crying._

" _I don't need them as long as you're with me."_

 _Soul stood up and, to Maka's unbelieving glare, he offered his hand to her. She looked up at him without understanding. Her cheeks were red._

" _Would this beautiful lady share a dance with me?"_

" _You must be kidding. I probably look like a ghost with my make up all smudged," she joked._

" _I can only see a beautiful girl on a stunning green dress," Soul said with a smirk. "And she's perfect."_

 _Maka completely reddened._

 _Soul laughed at her adorable expression. He took her hand and forced her to stand up. They were too close, their souls vibrantly resonating. And she wasn't threatening his life, so it was a good chance._

 _Before she could react, he leaned over and kissed her._

 _Slowly, lovingly._

 _And she kissed him back._

" _You'll probably regret doing that," she said against his lips. His breath tangling with hers._

" _I could never regret kissing you."_

 _Maka trembled in his arms. "I know you will."_

" _I know I won't."_

 _He kissed her again._

 _Their souls resonated as one._

 _._

He opened his eyes and found himself alone.

Soul could almost still feel Maka's warm covering him on that night and her soft lips against his.

If only he could see her again.

Kiss her again.

Hug her again.

But he could only see her on his dreams, his memories. And when she was in his arms, she'd disappear.

He hated reality.

Soul slipped from his bed again. After _it_ 's appearance, his mind went blank. So he forgot to drink his coffee hours ago and now it was cold.

He still needed his coffee and he had already prepare some, so expending money on a new one wasn't the best idea. He just needed to warm it up a bit.

Same routine every day.

Or so he thought.

Maka's door was open, he noticed while passing by.

Hesitantly, he walked over to her room but couldn't get himself to completely open the door. He didn't need the motivation, though. A gentle wind opened it up when he was about to touch the door.

Ash blond hair in pigtails.

She was facing the window until the door opened.

Green beautiful cheerful eyes.

"Soul!" she shouted energetically. "Long time no see!"

After a whole year of solitude, his soul finally vibrated happily at the resonation.


	2. The ghost by my side

**I really wanted to update once every week, or perhaps every two weeks, I** **really did thought I could. But I spent two weeks without any internet connection, so... yeah, I couldn't upload anything. Though I had time to write. That's why I have already written the next chapter, but I won't upload until next week. Unless I happen to feel persuaded to do it earlier.**

 **Thanks a lot for those two little beautiful reviews!**

 **I hope you'll like the rest of the story.**

* * *

 **Warning:** I do not speak nor write English as fluently as I would like since it isn't my first language. So I'm really sorry if there are a lot of incoherences or words poorly used. If someone wants to beta reader my writings I would be grateful.

 **PD:** I started to write this story inspired on a song: Still Here of Digital Daggers. If you want to, you can go hear the song. At least I thing it does goes with the mood. Every chapter tittle is inspired on the song verses.

* * *

 **Chapter two**

 **The ghost by my side**

Soul almost fell to his feet.

"What the hell?" he muttered.

"Soul-"

"No," he stopped her. Maka glared at him surprised. "You're not real. You can't be."

She smiled sadly.

Even if it was sadly, Soul felt his heart furiously throbbing at the sight of her smile.

He had missed it so much.

"I'm sorry to cut your dream, but I'm real," she said.

"What?"

"I'm real, Soul. You can't deny it."

"Oh, I'm sure I can."

Maka sighed. "Don't be like that. You know I'm real, you can feel it."

Soul turned around. He couldn't take this insanity anymore.

Seeing dead Maka wasn't as hurtful as it was seeing _her_. She seemed lively and happy—as she was actually there. Soul's heart was beating like crazy while building up a dream that would shatter him when he realised it was a dream.

He _loved_ seeing her beautiful green eyes looking at him once again.

But knowing she was dead made him broke down even more.

Soul peeped behind him. She was no longer there.

No sight of her.

Off course she wasn't real. It was just a sick way of his imagination to push him to his limits.

And it was working pretty well.

 _Don't think about it anymore, Soul._

He needed a cup of coffee. Too much insanity for the day—and he had been awake for just five minutes.

"You can feel our souls resonating," she said, appearing by his side when he was about to grab his mug.

Soul shivered.

"You fucking scared me."

"Sorry," she laughed.

Her laugh.

Soul decided to ignore her once again.

"I'm not going to leave you alone until you recognise me," Maka said. Soul knew she was following him and even though she did not made any sound while moving, his soul could detect where her soul was.

He was never a good living radar like Maka or Kid but he indeed could always tell where his meister was.

Perks of having an unbelievably good resonation.

At least when _she_ was alive.

"You can feel me-"

"Stop saying that over and over!" he snapped.

Maka stayed silent and her eyes showed how surprised she was.

Why was he feeling guilty over shouting to an allucination? Maybe it was because of her eyes. Too real, too green. Just the way he had loved about her.

They remained silent until Maka sighted.

"Maybe you do need time to think this over," she said.

Soul looked at her one last time before she disappeared into thin air.

He was right.

She wasn't real.

But why was his soul tricking him into believing she was?

.

"Soul!"

Liz called him from the distance but he chose to ignore her. Nothing ever ended up good when Liz and her gang arrived. He couldn't even remember the last time he felt relived at their presence.

He turned around to keep walking.

"Hey! Don't ignore me!"

 _Sorry, not happening._

"I need to talk to you!"

Still not interesting enough.

He stayed focused on getting out of Shibusen.

Even after Maka's death, his position of the last Death Scythe linked him to Shibusen—and also forced him to keep working with any meister available. He hated it and no matter how good they were, it was never as the team he and Maka formed. It was impossible for someone else to resonate with him.

He didn't want to, anyways.

"You should talk with her," said Maka. She was standing on the door at the end of the corridor.

Soul frowned.

"I don't want to," he muttered.

Everyone knew he was crazy and a lot of black blood messed up his mind, but talking alone wasn't something he wanted to add to his weirdness.

"Stop being so difficult, Soul," she sighed. "You need to stop your isolation."

"I'm not isolated!"

"Eh… 'kay, but I wasn't going to say that," Liz said.

Soul almost froze. Without realising, he stopped walking when Maka appeared and Liz was able to reach him. And on top of that, he shouted at her—at least by her point of view.

Maka laughed behind him.

It was her idea all along. She knew she couldn't convince him, so she just planned to distract him enough time for Liz to arrive.

He couldn't escape anymore.

"… I'm sorry," he murmured.

He looked up at Maka, but she was gone again.

Liz tried to smile. "No worries."

Silence was common between them. There was nothing to talk about, there was no connection. Until Maka died, he never noticed that the only link between him and the rest of the group was her. Maka. Without her, he couldn't call them _friends._

"So," Liz said. She seemed uncomfortable. "I really want to come with us to her grave. It won't be just us, though. A lot of people is coming. We're going to honour the death of one of the greatest meisters and veteran of war against the Kishin."

"I won't go."

"Soul," she kept saying, her voice even softer than before. "You're her partner and the last Death Scythe. It's a formality, but you _were_ her best friend. It shouldn't be an obligation but something _you_ want to do. That's why I won't force you. If you really don't want to go, no one will drag you there."

She talked too much. His ears hurted. And his heart, too. He knew all that since the beginning, but he couldn't bring himself to visit her grave.

Not yet.

"Then when, Soul?" he heard Maka saying.

Soul couldn't see her but he knew she was there.

His soul knew she was there.

"I… don't know."

Liz touched his shoulder. "Then will you at least considered it?"

He didn't know either if his answer was for Liz or Maka.

And he didn't want to think about that.

"I've been lonely," Maka said, but it wasn't her soft voice anymore. It was dark and creepy. _It_ was behind Liz. "You abandoned me."

"I—I didn't-"

"What?" Both Liz and Maka said.

His head ached so much.

 _It_ started to cry and crumbling.

"Soul, what's wrong?" asked Maka.

She finally appeared, looking directly into his eyes. She held her arm to his direction but didn't touch him.

He wanted to touch her.

And kiss her.

But she was death. Why was he still able to see her?

Liz was the one who grabbed his wrist and shacked him. "Hey, are you listening me?"

He hadn't notice.

 _It_ and Maka were different entities. Because _it_ was still falling piece by piece in the back of his mind. And Maka was there, her wavelength soothing him.

Maybe he was more crazy than he thought.

 _It_ was screaming.

And his head hurt even more.

Liz didn't let go of his wrist at any moment. "Are you feeling well? You're too pale."

He wouldn't have answer at any other situation, but Maka glared at him so lovingly and worried that something opened up in him.

"I'm not."

"Go to the infirmary," Maka said to him.

He nodded.

"Maybe I should."

"What do you mean?" Liz muttered.

He forgot about her.

Soul wanted to reply but his mouth wasn't functioning anymore.

The last thing he saw was the impotent expression Maka had.

.

" _Soul-"_

 _He didn't let her talk._

" _Stop-" Maka insisted but she was out of breath. And Soul didn't let go of her lips enough time for her to form an entire sentence._

 _She didn't put resistance, though. And Soul didn't wanted to stop._

" _I was being serious, Soul," Maka moaned adoringly when he finally let her go to caught breath._

 _Soul laughed slightly. "I know."_

" _You need to stop doing that," she said._

 _Maka was trying to sound mad but her rosy cheeks and how she was still hugging him didn't help her. Soul just smirked, showing his shark teeth._

" _Don't laugh at me!"_

" _I'm not!"_

" _But you_ are _laughing!"_

" _I'm not laughing, I just find you adorable," he responded, hugging her even tighter._

 _Soul loved to cuddle._

" _Get up, we need to get ready," Maka said._

" _Don't want to."_

" _Soul."_

 _He understood her threat even without mentioning it._

"… _fine."_

 _Maka unwrapped her arms from around his waist and gave him a light kiss before jumping out of bed. "Good to know you're finally being obedient without a Maka-chop," she mentioned happily._

" _That's only because now you actually have a threat that'll make me follow your orders," he said jokingly._

 _She looked at him over her shoulder while tiding her hair up._

" _And a broken skull wasn't much of a threat?"_

" _I lived up with that," he shrugged._

 _Maka laughed. Her pigtail tickled_ _his skin when she leaned over him. "Get up."_

" _Just one more," he pleaded, wrapping his arm around around her neck to pull her closer._

" _And you'll actually get ready now?"_

 _Soul smirked. "Promise."_

" _Such an empty promise," Maka complained but kissed him anyways._

 _Although it was meant to be just a peak kiss, Soul managed to lay her in the bed over him, not letting her to get up and escape. Just like minutes ago, Maka fell in the temptation Soul was. She had no will when Soul slowly caressed her skin and kissed him like only he could._

 _But they were running late. And Soul was slowly making his way through Maka's skirt._

" _Soul, enough," she said against his lips._

 _Their breath intertwined._

 _So soothing, so sensual._

" _I know you don't want to," he growled._

" _You're wrinkling my clothes," Maka protested. It sounded more like a pity excuse._

" _You don't seem to mind it at night."_

 _Maka groaned. She was starting to get annoyed._

" _If you keep doing this, I won't come to your room to wake you up and I'll go straight to a Maka-chop."_

 _Soul moaned miserably. "Not those times again."_

" _Then don't complain and get up," she said. "And let me get up too. We'll miss the plane if we don't go out now."_

" _Now?"_

"Now," _she said dangerously._

 _Nothing he wanted at that moment._

 _Soul finally released her, and Maka got up to flatten her clothes._

" _Were are we going?" he asked while lazily sneaking out of bed._

" _England."_

 _Now was Soul turn to groan. "Do we have to?"_

" _There's no option," Maka shrugged. Soul couldn't see her expression and her voice remained painfully serious. "Shinigami-sama himself sent us there as diplomacy. No big deal, just some random gathering party. It seems that the queen wants to celebrate peace with the witches. It took a long time, if you ask me. Two years had passed since the treatment."_

" _And yet we still have to fight as Spartoi. Such a pain in the ass," Soul complained._

 _He had listened to Maka's speech while getting dressed up. It didn't matter anymore that he slept just in boxers—after a whole year of living together as a couple, even if anyone else knew, Maka had seen a lot more of him in nudity. At the beginning she was pretty nervous every time he walked naked around the apartment but eventually got used to it._

 _Also, Soul's head finally was able to rest in peace for longer periods of time. It was thanks to the change in attitude Maka had after they started going out, which was a miracle. All began the day they graduated and Maka was notified as Shibusen's ambassador in Japan—since her mom was Japanese and she was now an honour graduated technician—until they found a replacement._

 _That meant she going to start working with another weapon. And he, with another technician._

 _Soul couldn't take that. So he did an stupidity._

 _He confessed to Maka._

 _It was a good idea if they were normal people. But Maka was a dangerous athletic technician that helped defeat the Kishin when no other human could have been able to endure it. She had anger issues. And on top of that, she had a fear of men which seemed more like hatred._

 _Not even he knew how he managed to sort things out with her._

 _It kind of just magically happened after the long rainy day in which Shinigami-sama retracted his decision to send her over to Japan._

" _There's nothing we can do about you being the last Death Scythe," Maka said while walking towards the kitchen. Soul followed behind._

 _A cup of coffee._

 _Maka loved coffee._

" _If I had known that being a Death Scythe was such a horrible task, I wouldn't have leave Arachne to Killik or anyone else."_

 _He waited for her reaction but nothing came. No laugh, no comment. Maka still wasn't looking at him._

" _Maka?" he asked, making his way through her waist to catch her attention._

 _She flinched. "Sorry."_

" _What's in your mind?"_

 _Soul rested his chin over her shoulder. They had been the same height for a long time but now he was taller. Even so, he wasn't able to put a head difference in height between them. He was content with her shoulder, though. Easy access to her neck._

" _I may have forgotten to tell you something," she said softly._

" _What is it?"_

 _Maka didn't responded nor moved for a few seconds. "I'll tell you when we arrive at London."_

 _Mysterious. Maka wasn't a secret keeper. She was direct and fearless._

 _Soul raised an eyebrow. "You're making me curious."_

 _Finally, Maka laughed slightly. Her head turned to his direction. He was finally able to see her expression. It was just like always, the Maka he knew and loved. "I know," she said before kissing him._

" _Ugh, coffee."_

 _Soul hated coffee._

 _Although kissing surpassed the horrible coffee's taste that remained on her lips, he complained every time it happened._

" _If you keep on being such a crybaby I won't kiss you anymore." Maka escaped from his arms and sipped his coffee again._

 _His horrified expression amused her._

 _Maka laughed again, louder this time. "Be ready in ten!"_

 _And she disappeared when the door was shut._

 _He stayed there, leaned against the counter. The coffee lingered on his lips but it didn't gross him. Maybe it was Maka's doing. No—it_ was _because of her comment. He wanted to be able to kiss her and enjoy it completely._

 _Not even once had he thought about drinking coffee. He could definitely do it for Maka. It wasn't an easy task, though._

 _Half the time, Maka was drinking coffee._

 _He was going to take a liking on coffee, Soul promised himself._

 _And the next time he caught her reading and drinking it in the sofa, he was going to enjoy the sour taste from her mouth. It was Maka's taste after all, so much like her._

" _I can do it!" he whispered shouted to himself._

 _He never had to the chance try himself because Maka never came back alive._

 _._

The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was a faded image of Maka's face looking at him directly from above. He could see the lamp hanging from the roof through Maka.

"You're awake!" she exclaimed.

Her body recovered the stiffness of a normal human after returning to the ground. She looked alive.

Soul had a hard time processing the scene before him. "Did you just… _floated_?"

Maka giggled. "I did! I didn't know I could. I just found out a few minutes ago."

"So you've been starting at my face for minutes?"

"Correct."

"That's creepy as hell."

Maka shrugged. "I don't care."

"Such a cheap version of Maka," Soul said. "She would have never done that."

"I did it," she said.

Soul felt more confused than before. "What do you mean?"

"I did that a lot when I was… _alive_ ," she struggled to get the word of her mouth. Even as an allucination, every part of Soul couldn't bring himself to accept the fact that she was no longer alive. "When you were asleep. I liked to see your face. It seemed so peaceful."

The hysterical laugh that leaved Soul's mouth surprised Maka. It didn't sounded like him. Even he knew that. He sounded like the little devil inside his mind.

"Go away," he said.

"Soul," Maka tried to explain herself in a rush. "You're not being reasonable. Calm yourself."

"You come from my imagination. I should be able to get ride of you."

"You can't."

"Just go away."

He was getting desperate.

"Do you really expect me to go away?" Maka murmured. Her voice was thin but full sadness. "You want _me_ to go away when can't even get rid of whatever was tormenting you before?"

"How can you still pretend to be real when you know about that?" Soul growled. The blanket prevented him from looking at her.

He sensed how _it_ was starting to appear. _It_ always made its entrance when he was emotionally unstable.

"It's just a guess, and you just confirmed it to me," Maka said.

Even if he couldn't see her, Soul knew she was looking at him.

"How?"

"It doesn't take much to notice it, Soul. I think even Liz understood it," she informed. "You were glaring at a wall. _Intensively_ looking at a wall, I may say. And then you seemed surprised I was there, as if you didn't expect me to be there."

"Get to the point," he groaned. Maka was rambling with her words. After living with her for years, he noticed every time she was being cautious.

"Did you saw another me?" she finally asked.

The answer was in his silence, and she knew that. Maka sighed.

"Since when?"

"Does that even matter?"

"I just want to help you."

"Well, you are doing an _impressive_ job there, Maka," he said sarcastically.

She ignored his sarcasm. "She says things to you, doesn't she?"

" _You_ are telling me things too, why wouldn't it?"

"It?"

"The Maka I see isn't real. She's not the Maka I knew. Neither are you. Neither of you deserve to be treated as a person."

Why couldn't he keep living with Maka he saw in his memories? He wanted to keep remembering her—her laugh, her kisses, the way her pigtails caressed his skin when he hugged her. His allucination were killing all of those.

After a whole minute in silence, Soul cautiously let the blanket fall.

Maka was crying.

He had the impulse to reach her but stopped mid-way. She wasn't real. He shouldn't be concerned about an allucination, not even if it resembled Maka too well.

"You really don't believe me," she sobbed.

It kind of sounded like a question. As if she was clinging to her last hope.

Soul directed his eyes to the wall. He couldn't stand to see her crying anymore, not even if she wasn't real.

It was breaking his heart.

"I don't."

"Don't you what, Soul?"

He had been so focused on not looking at Maka that he didn't noticed when the door opened.

Marie was standing in the doorway.

And Maka was nowhere to be seen.

Soul shocked his head. "Nothing."

"Good to know," Marie said. She smiled at him. "Liz was pretty freak out when Kid brought you here. She saw you talking alone and then faint."

"Kid?"

Marie nodded. "He was here doing paperwork since the office is on vacation. Apparently he felt something weird and found you when you just fainted."

Soul hadn't talk to Kid since Maka's death. They had meet each other from time to time when Black Star forced him to go out of his apartment, but there was no interaction between them. And Kid didn't made any effort on talking. So it was surprising he was the one to carry him all the way to the infirmary.

"You were exhausted," Marie continued saying. "Have you been sleeping well?"

"Do I look like someone that sleeps well?"

Marie sighed. "As difficult as ever. Anyways, I'll give you some pills for you to sleep. Use them well, Soul."

"Can I go now?"

"You can stay if you want."

That wasn't even an option for him. There were too many people in Shibusen. Too many people that knew Maka.

He just wanted to go away.

"Wait, Soul," Marie stopped him when he was already at the door. "Maybe you should transfer your mission to someone else. You're exhausted. You'll have a hard time defeating a Kishin by yourself in your condition even if you're a Death Scythe."

"I won't."

"Are you trying to go to England to go… _there_?"

 _There._ Where Maka died.

Soul just shut the door without responding.

.

He had his suitcase ready since the morning, so he didn't need to rush. Everything was prepared for his flight to England that night.

Nothing else to do for the rest of the day.

He served his cup of coffee and fell on the couch.

For some reason, he almost expected Maka to appear out of nowhere to ask him when did he started to like coffee. But it didn't happened. He achieved his mission to scare away Maka.

The red light was still flashing on the phone.

Soul forgot to hear the second voicemail.

He pressed the buttom.

" _Soul, I want to talk to you about something. It's… about Maka. Something I should have told you before. I hope you'll come to honour her grave with us. I'll tell you then. Also… there's something else happening. I don't know what. But that's another theme. See you at Wednesday."_

Kid. It was from yesterday.

Weird.

Soul decided to ignore his voicemail. The red light was no longer flashing, so he had nothing else to hear.

He wasn't going to her grave tomorrow, anyways.

Because he was leaving today to England.

"Maka," he called.

Was he actually summoning her presence? He did it without thinking.

"I'm here," she answered.

Maka was sitting on the couch. No longer crying. She smiled softly at him.

"Do you know what Kid wants to tell me? He said its about you."

Soul was challenging her. He still didn't believe she was real, but after thinking during all the way from Shibusen to his apartment, he decided it wasn't so bad to have a nice company.

It hurt him. But she was too much like Maka, and I'm even his soul tricked him into believing she was real.

"I don't know what's inside Kid's mind," she said. Maka hugged her legs to her chest. Something she usually did. "But I think I know what he may want to tell you."

"Really? Then I must be pretty creative."

She sighed. "I won't tell you now, even if that would make you believe in me."

"I'm not surprised. Off course I wouldn't know what Kid wants to tell me."

Soul was pushing her limits and he knew why. He was resentful. Kid knew something about Maka that _he_ didn't knew. Her partner—her _boyfriend_ didn't knew something that a friend did. Although that was no reason to piss Maka off, it did made him lighter to throw his anger and sadness to someone.

"If you keep on being like that, then I'll go," she said sadly. "You don't want me here."

"You're right, I don't," he lied.

Soul caught Maka's eyes.

 _Notice it. I want you to stay. I desperately want you to be here with me._

She averted her eyes. "Fine."

And she disappeared into thin air.


	3. All I hold dear

**So... ups? I think it's been over a year already. But in my defence, I did have this chapter written by the time I uploaded to second one. But my phone got stolen and that's were I was writing at that time. Then, because I'm such a stupid person, I** **formatted my computer without doing a back up. So, yeah. I've rewritten three times this chapter and that seriously made mad. I lost my will to write this even though I was so happy with this story. And I received some** **beautiful reviews that warmed my heart once again and decided to give it a last chance. But fuck you life, FanFiction didn't let me upload any document. Finally, I've being able to upload this thing in here and now I've decided to finish it before class stars again (which means that I'd drop it again because of uni-exhaustion). So I suppose that by the end on January, this story would be already complete? I hope so, at least.**

 **Sorry for that long ass explanation of why am I such a procrastinator.**

 **Thanks for your support! It means a lot for me.**

* * *

 **Chapter three**

 **All I hold dear**

 _"When did you planned to tell me?" Soul said angrily._

 _"I did tell you I had something to talk about with you," Maka tried to explain herself, but he wasn't listening to anything she said. He was blinded by his anger. "I was going to tell you the moment we arrived here but you were so happy. I was trying to find the right moment."_

 _"Of course, I was happy!" He shouted. "I was finally going to spend some vacation with you! And you just ruined it all!"_

 _"Calm down, please."_

 _He couldn't. He was too mad at her._

 _But walking around their little suit in circles didn't help either. After a long breath, Soul finally stopped his nervous body to sit beside her. Not close enough for her to grab his hands, just like she always did to stop his black blood taking over him when his feelings were too much for him to handle._

 _"Better," Maka said. "You were driving me insane with you walking the same path over and over again."_

 _"I don't care," he practically spitted out._

 _"Okay, well," Maka raised her hands in a peace. "Just hear me out."_

 _"Why should I?"_

 _"Because I do everything time you fuck something up," she said as if that was reason enough. Soul couldn't deny it. Even if Maka was pretty aggressive and short tempered, she managed to calm down to hear his excuses._

 _His breathing started to slow down after he finally reasoned._

 _He was still mad at her, tough._

 _"Then," he said giving up on her calm voice. "I'll listen. But don't expect me to be compassionate about it."_

 _Maka smiled sadly and leaned closer to him to grab his hand. When he refused, she just came back to her earlier position on the border of the bed they were going to share._

 _Since Soul saw his parents on the news, talking about how incredible was to have his kid back, he lost it. Because he just knew that was Maka's doing. Not directly—but still her fault. So, he threw all his anger at Maka at seeing again his parent's hypocrites face talking about him while promoting their new solo concert. Even knowing that they were going to share the bed drove him mad, because he knew that Maka finally agreed on it because he was going to get furious at her._

 _All those days before their fly were way too peaceful and Maka was too loving._

 _The calm before the storm._

 _"All those years since we meet... you never even mentioned them."_

 _"Tell me something I don't know," he said, rolling his eyes at her comment. "How did you even find out I'm—was their son?"_

 _"I'm impressed you actually think I didn't knew," she said. "I've known all along. Even before meeting you for the first time."_

 _"What?"_

 _Now, he was actually more shocked than mad._

 _"I'm the Death Scythe's daughter," she said as if that was the only explanation. Soul looked at her confused, so she proceeded. "I saw the new coming list. The day the entrance ceremony, I was the one who hold it when we were on our way there on my dad's car. He didn't say anything, so I checked up the list. And your name got my attention. Though I didn't know it was you until you introduced yourself as Soul. I didn't ask why you lied about your lastname because you were going to close up if I did. And as time passed, I forgot about it. I lost my chance to ask you too many times, so I just gave up."_

 _"Evans is a common last name on England," Soul remarked._

 _"Oh, c'mon!" Maka exclaimed. "You have white hair and red eyes! And your entire family are some kind of weird clones!"_

 _"You know nothing of music! How did you even know about them?"_

 _She stayed silence, not looking at him. "I searched your name," Maka mumbled._

 _"You did what?"_

 _"I googled your name!" She exploded again. Her face was red of embarrassment. "I was curious, okay? So, I googled you. And I found that you belonged to this famous musical family. It didn't surprise me, if I may say."_

 _"Because you meet me while playing the piano," he confirmed._

 _Soul felt into the bed and grabbed his hair with frustration. Somehow, he felt kind of guilty for never telling her his secret._

 _"I always knew the piano brings you bad memories," she said quietly. "But I didn't understand until later. You've being avoiding your family all this years though they've been supporting you financially. How is that possible?"_

 _"It was a common agreement."_

 _"An agreement?"_

 _"They were going to support me financially if I disappeared from their social environment to stop bringing shame to my family."_

 _There was a long silence, in which neither of them said anything or even tried to move. Soul wasn't looking at her face. He was afraid of her reaction. Why would she be with someone that was exiled from his own household to stop being a nuisance? That's why he had escaped to Shibusen, where no one knew him. His family was at the other side of the ocean and they never tried to contact him. They didn't care about him._

 _He had no one. Until he found her in Shibusen and became the only person he trusted._

 _Maka was his only family—or at least the closest person he had to a family._

 _Realizing that froze him._

 _That's how much he loved her. She was all he had._

 _"They didn't deserve you."_

 _Soul raised his head, finally meeting her gaze._

 _And before he processed her words, she stood up and hugged him tightly._

 _They stayed like that, just feeling each other's warmth. It was cold outside, but they didn't need the heater. And Soul felt himself been soothed by Maka's heartbeat._

 _"That's why I never told you," he finally said. Maka unwrapped her arms but stayed on his lap. "They are not my family anymore. They stopped when they exiled me."_

 _She caressed his cheek and kissed him._

 _"I still haven't change my mind."_

 _"Why?" Soul inquired desperately._

 _There was no point in visiting his family._

 _"Because you need this," she said. "I wanted you to affront this. You'll never stop shutting yourself if you still share a link with them. You need a closure—or a start."_

 _"I don't get it."_

 _"You fixed me," Maka hid her face on his neck. "I hated men because of my dad. But you made me confront my fears. Even if I don't like what he does, he's still my dad. And he loves me."_

 _She uncovered herself and faced him directly. "It seems I just needed a bit of you."_

 _He kissed her, not letting her talk anymore._

 _"I only need you," he said against her lips._

 _Maka moved her head from side to side. "No, that's not right."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"What would you do if I die?" She asked. Her eyes were opaque with sadness._

 _He didn't know what to say anymore._

 _That was a question her tried no to ask himself. When Maka was attacked by Chrona, he just acted without thinking. Because he couldn't even think about her dying. He rather dies himself than letting her get close to death._

 _"You can't..." she started saying with soft voice. "You can't rely on just one person. That's why you need to get over your family. Though they are assholes."_

 _Soul embraced her without saying anything else. He couldn't—and wouldn't. Because Maka wouldn't agree nor accept what he wanted to say._

 _The truth was that he didn't need anyone else._

 _Because he swore to himself to take any damage that could put Maka in danger._

 _._

He woke up on the plane in the middle of the night. Or what seemed like night. It was completely dark inside the plane and everyone was asleep.

His phone was still on Nevada's time zone and he couldn't change it, so he didn't even know where on the globe he was. Wasn't important, though. Soul just wanted to arrive in London as soon as he could.

Suddenly, the temperature started to change.

It was warm.

"I know you took this mission for a different reason."

He tried not to jump from his seat when Maka appeared by his side, which was empty. They were on the end of the plane, where no one ever wanted to sit because the chairs couldn't lean.

"You scared me," he said. Since everyone was asleep, no one could see he was talking alone.

"Sorry, I thought you already knew my arrival signature."

"The heat?" He asked. It was the first thing that crossed his mind.

"That's right. Didn't you notice until now?"

"You've never appear close enough," he explained. "Then, how does your ghost life works like? If you're actually a ghost, wouldn't you be restricted to be close to your body or something?"

"Right now, I'm free to move however I want to."

"So, you weren't before."

"It's hard to explain."

"Right," Soul growled. He leaned his head on the chair. "Any of this makes sense."

"So, where do you go when I'm not around? Why am I the only one who can see you?"

She smiled.

"Spoilers."

"On what? The afterlife?"

"I'm not a ghost," she said. Soul finally got interest in what she was saying, even though she didn't respond to his question. "At least, not how people think ghosts are. It's just my soul taking my body's form. I can be detected, just like a living person... but without an actual body."

"Didn't knew that was possible."

"I'm a special case," she smiled at him with guilt.

There was something she wasn't telling him.

"So, I could eat you right now."

"If you want to be Kishin, yeah."

Soul opened his mouth to ask but shut up before speaking. Why was he even considering asking something seriously to a hallucination?

"And I'm kind of restricted," she continued. "Not completely, but I get tired when it goes too far away. It's like my source of energy."

"Sure, you get tired but you can appear on the other side of the ocean."

"It's not—you know what, forget it."

She was mad, he could tell.

And to be fair, he was being overly asshole with her.

They didn't talk on the rest of the flight, but her soul's presence soothed him like a lullaby.

He was able to sleep.

To _actually_ sleep. Without nightmares, and for eight hours straight.

Even so, another memory invaded him.

.

 _"Maka, calm down."_

 _Oh, the irony. Just hours before, she was the one saying those exacts words to him. On a different context, but still the same words._

 _"How can you be so calm about this?" She almost screamed. The only relieve Soul had, was that it wasn't meant for him. "Those idiots just insulted our inheritance! Why is being a weapon or a technician so horrible? We fucking saved the world! They don't even deserve to be saved."_

 _"We didn't fight Asura to save_ them _but the world. In general."_

 _"I know they are your family, but I hate them. How did you survive so long with them?"_

 _"I didn't," Soul replied. "That's why I leaved home when I was fourteen."_

 _"Best decision ever," Maka grumbled._

 _It was kind cute how she got furious on his behalf. Or maybe he was crazy for falling in love with an aggressive person and found himself crazy for her when she was full of rage on the inside. Perhaps it was him_ _the mad one, because he didn't even try to stop her when they were inside the mansion and Maka thrown an incredibly big book on his father's head._

 _He should've stopped her, knowing how strong she was. But it was satisfactory to see the horrified expression in his family's faces._

 _And then Maka escaped, still with her cheeks flustered because of the overflowing emotions._

 _Seeing that, Soul couldn't do anything else besides loving her even more._

 _He grabbed her hand and guided her trough the big garden. Probably, they shouldn't have been so calm inside the mansion of a person who was just attacked by her, but Soul didn't mind. They defeated the Kishin—nothing could've been worse than that._

 _"So, are we free now?" Soul inquired._

 _"What?" Maka frowned._

 _"We arrived here a week before the meeting, and I assume it was because of my family thing. But we're done now, aren't we?"_

" _I… I suppose we are," she accepted._

" _Good, because I'm tired of being here. I hate this place."_

 _There was a short silence, in which Maka followed him obediently. After a few minutes, when they were about to cross the entrance, she stopped. "I'm sorry. It was foolish of me to think they'll repent."_

 _Soul smiled at her and caressed her hand._

" _It's not your fault to be a believer," he said. "They're unfixable, that's why I stopped trying. But you were right—I needed this."_

 _Her eyes gleamed with hope. "You did?"_

" _Up until now, part of me still had a little hope that they would've change during these," he admitted while starting to walk again. "Off course they didn't, I'm not actually surprised. But it did make me feel better, knowing that I didn't left behind a potentially good family or that I gave up too quickly. Now I know they are a shitty family and I did well to leave them."_

" _But—you don't have a family now. Not one that matters. And it's my fault."_

 _He was the who stopped this time. They were already off the Evans household and the street was empty, which was common on that suburb where no one ever leaved their mansion without a car._

" _I have one," he said, looking directly into her green eyes._

" _Not a good one, though."_

" _You're my family," he interrupted her. She seemed too perplexed. "Or you could be, if you let me be."_

 _The silence was killing him._

 _And his words resonated into his mind over and over again. Where the hell did that confidence came from? He didn't even think he was able to be so utterly romantic._

 _With nervousness, he continued. "In the future, I mean. You don't have to say anything right now, but you need to know that_ I love you _, I seriously do. Maybe—maybe you still have your doubts and I get it—"_

" _Soul, stop."_

 _Instantly, Soul stopped talking._

 _His heart was throbbing at a speed that wasn't good for his health. Just seeing her sad and flustered like that made him want to disappear for the earth. No good came from her when she seemed about to throw up._

 _He was certain that this was how a heart attack felt._

" _Can we go to the hotel?" she said. Her legs were shaking and Maka refused to look at his eyes, which made things more awkward. "I want to sleep."_

 _They had sleep enough but Maka suddenly had an expression of exhaustion. Soul hadn't noticed until know the dark circles under her eyes and her pale skin, like she hadn't had a good night in days. Why didn't he saw she was falling apart beside him? She was always so bright around him… perhaps, she tried too hard not to let him see her problems._

 _Or he was thinking too much._

 _He just proposed to her out the blue and it took her by surprise._

 _No ring, no romantic moment, not even with bucket of flowers or something like that that women usually liked. But Maka wasn't a normal woman and a proposition in the middle of a battle would've being all right for her._

 _If she even liked the idea of getting married, of course._

" _Why?" Soul said hastily. "Why are you avoiding my question?"_

 _Maka was already a few feet away from him. "I don't want to talk about it,_ please _."_

 _He was burning with indignity. Why was she like that? What was she so afraid of? After all they went through, he thought that they finally were past her insecurities about his father and divorce. Soul didn't have the intention to pressure her on something she didn't want, but at least, he expected her to be forward about it._

" _You're a coward," the words left his mouth without him thinking about it. Maka stopped walking but didn't face him, which made him continue out of rage. "You're always drowning in your self-pity about not having a good family. But guess what? I didn't even have a family to begin with. But I have the courage to keep going and try to have something no one taught me how it's like."_

 _His words were breaking them both. Every word that he spoke made it worse and the distance between them increased. Even so, he didn't want to stop. "If you don't want to marry me, it's all right. I know were still young and it's a great commitment. But don't leave me wondering what's on your mind. Do you still think I'm like your dad? That I'm not good enough for you?"_

 _Maka talked in a soft, wracked voice. "That's not it."_

" _Then tell me," he paused and breathed heavily. "I just can't understand what happened. This morning, you were all 'Oh, you helped me affront my fears!' and then you can't even react properly to the simple mention of marriage."_

 _She was shaking. Not just her legs, but her entire body. Like she was freezing to death._

 _Soul reached for her hand as cold as stone and traced comforting circles on it. He was an asshole, but so was she. His words were daggers, even for himself._

" _I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just_ _—I can't."_

 _After a long silence, Soul sighed. "You need time to calm down. Let's go back."_

 _She nodded silently and followed him, never rejecting his warm hand._

 _At times like this it was a great irony that his soul filled with black blood was the only one capable of soothing the nervous breakdown of a Gregory soul._


End file.
